Barber School Rejects

What is the most degrading thing you can think of that many people may PAY to have happen to them? If you guessed a bad haircut, you would be right, if not well you are wrong and in that case you need to work on your clairvoyant abilities and get back to me when you are up to the task. You may be asking yourself, What the hell does a bad haircut and a blog about a baby that has yet to make an appearance except through sound generated pictures have to do with each other? Well it has to do with yet another important lessen that we learned while bathing the cats and I just didn't write about until I could show you the full magnitude of that lesson. So in our infinite wisdom we decided that one of our cats was in need of a slight trim, what we didn't take into account was the fact that a wet cats fur looks totally different than a dry cats fur. Now if you can guess where I am going with this just go ahead and skip to the video. Well anyways we took our scissors to one of our cats to trim up some areas that were clumping up and the bath wasn't helping with and needless to say in the end she looked like she picked a fight with a weed eater and was given the walloping of her life. The worst part is she knows that she looks this way. You may ask how I know this, well it is in the way she parades herself in front of us like look what you did to me while glaring at us.

Now I get to the part that pertains to the little ones as well as the lesson we learned. If your kid needs a haircut, pay a professional to do it, because kids squirm more than a wet cat in a shower and a professional is trained for the hazards that ensue and you are not and deal with them the rest of the time. However if you insist on doing the job yourself GO EASY ON THE WATER. It's easier to get the picture of what it will look like in the aftermath of your epiphany that you are a barbershop genius. So no with now further babbling here is our poor poor cat that lost the fight with the weed eater. Please enjoy and no snickering from you in the back.

Just Keep Swimming

Today I just keep telling myself, “5 more days and then vacation”. I can not wait to go back to AZ for a whole 2 weeks and hopefully relax. I think that both Anthony and I need some time to just break and organize. With work, baby, home, car, health etc…it is hard to really stop and prioritize what to do next. That is the problem right there, what to do next. There is always something that has to be done. I guess this is life but I keep thinking this can not be all what life is about. Maybe I will not have that answer until the very end.

Along with things to do, tomorrow I have my first appointment with a prenatal specialist. Due to my DVT (blood clot), I am a high risk patient for pregnancy so the doctors on base made me a referral. I am really nervous what they are going to say. I am hoping that they will just watch me closely but I know that they may put me on a heparin drip, which would mean weekly shots, blood checks and doctors appointments. Please no! It is amazing that one little clot in my let changes everything in my life. Well, I will report back when I know more.


But in the mean time…
You know what you gotta do when life gets you down?

Just keep swimming

Just keep swimming

Just keep swimming swimming swimming

The Fur is Flying

Well today we came to a halting realization today, we will also have to bathe P on occasion. All rational convention would suggest that we may even want to do it more often than we bathe our four furry children, which is about once every 6 months. But of course P probably won't fight it tooth and nail, or at least not until the age of 2. So that at least is a plus. Now back to the bathing of the cats. This evolution took major preparation, planning and deceit to accomplish, and they still are probably plotting our demise. 

So the Evolution began with us luring them out onto the patio so we could cut their nails, then we staged the towels and got into bathing suits, and then moved them to the bathroom. They immediately knew what was up and began attempting to flea across the border into mexico. The next stage was probably most traumatic for all involved, the actual washing of the cats. One was washed at a time while all four treated us to the symphony of yowls you would expect if you were to put two cats in a sack and tie the sack up. Not pleasant at all. Finally we had to attempt to dry them which end with us getting the majority of water off them and putting them outside. Oh and by the way one decided to give me some additional practice at being a father and peed on me as I took her back outside. Overall an unpleasant experience that left me smelling of pee, Amanda's legs sliced up from bathing, and four pissed off cats that are probably going to trip us down the stairs if we are not careful. So if you don't here from us please come look in our windows to make sure we're not lying in a heap or being dragged into the preserve. If bathing a baby is half as challenging I think we will be ok, at least if we attempt it as a team, but all bets are off if we chance it alone.

Cribs, Strollers and Automobiles

So in preparation for the addition to our family we have been looking into all sorts of things that we are told we will be needing. As that list grows I watch our retirement dwindle. Where shall I start my list...I think we can begin with the cribs, we are told we just have to have the lifetime cribs, you know the ones that go from crib, to toddler bed, to full size bed. No what fun are these, everybody knows that a kid doesn't want a mahogany sleigh bed when they a 5 years old, they want the red ferrari bed that they will out grow in 5 years when they decide they want a futon to go with their bean bag chair. So there is one purchase that would be worth while, so long as they don't break it, when they move out, it moves with them and I finally get my man cave for the pool table, kegerator and projector. The next expense are the strollers, that is if you can ever find the right one, half of them look like the kid is entered into the Daytona 500 with the 5 point harness, then you have to decide does in one touch brakes, should it recline can the car seat go directly into it, how well does it fold up, does it have four wheel drive with locking hubs and rack and pinion steering. I mean it is a method of transport for children until they are old enough to walk, does it really have to have more options than my truck? 

This list can go on and on with baby baths, high chairs, play pens, bassinets, you name it  so I will end it on the one that we will get more use out of. A new car, we are in the market for a new vehicle because despite the fact that we have seen it done, a MINI Cooper is probably not the most practical family car, so we are now looking at one of three possibilities, a family sedan, a gas guzzling SUV or a Goobermobile... I mean minivan. So far the Goobe...minivan is winning out due to the features such as doors the slide on their own, built in TV's, hide away seats. However, even if the minivan wins out, it will still be a Goobermobile and I will most definitely miss the truck when we get rid of it. You didn't really think we would get rid of the MINI did you? Of course not, there are car seats for all ages that fit in a mini, we couldn't possibly show up to a MINI meeting without it. Well, on that note I am going to add up more pending expenses and figure out which organs I can get by without if I need to sell them.

Origins of P

I have had a couple of people comment to me that they want to know why we are calling the baby Little P. At first it sounds so normal and cute…our little P. But if anyone knows us we are not exactly normal.

P stands for 2 main things: parasite and pan.

Yes, yes there is a story. First, before I was pregnant I was talking to friends about the fact that I am a little creeped out (and still am at times) by something growing in me, taking my energy, food, nutrients. And I joked that babies were like parasites….they take your food and when they get older they take your money…hopefully they will not kill you doing either. Second, the pan, okay about 2 years ago Anthony and I were washing dishes talking about having kids. I asked him if he wanted kids and his answer was PAN. So every time we starting talking about kids and babies he was yell PAN; which was our little inside joke for him wanting a baby but not wanting to say it in front of people.

Yep…that is the origins of P. Don’t judge! lol

Creepy Little Widget

Well it has been a while since I posted and it looks like I will be going back to previous subject. ALIENS!!! That's right ALIENS. This came back to me after I looked at the revamped blog and the widget off to the right there and how much a baby at 10 weeks looks like an ALIEN life form. Which by the way you can see by the previous post was confirmed this afternoon. So not only is pregnancy cause some fears of are we doing the right thing, are we going to be good parents, and stresses out the wazoo. It is also pretty creepy, another life growing inside the abdomen of another, who's idea was that? Granted I guess it is better than the alternatives, the woman could lay an egg and then stay in one place keeping it warm until it hatches, but that would get boring and just think of the charges through Internet shopping. Or another alternative we can just spontaneously split like amoebas. Then you would have to deal with the confusion of everybody looking, acting and thinking the same since we are all of the exact same genetic make up.
Well I guess there is one more option that is satisfactory to all, you can still drink, party and do everything right up to the moment of delivery...that's right the stork! What better way, you just need to make sure that you have a good tracking number, I mean how embarrassing would it be if you popped out to get a latte and the stork missed you for the third time and returned the shipment to the sender. Have you ever seen the waiting lists on those stork delivered babies? It's unbelieveable. So I guess they all have their downsides and maybe the human way of pregnancy is a better path. Well all you women out there may not think so, but at least you don't have to since around incubating an egg, we don't all sound like Micheal Keaton in Multiplicity, and there is no worry about if you left the signature slip on the front door or the counter. So I guess the ALIENS will continue in their places and creep out perspective parents for years to come.

Happy Little P

This is the heartbeat.

Baby Ellerbe

You can see baby's head and arm/legs....baby was moving!!

Our little jumping bean at 10 weeks!! We wish we could have taken a video. The baby was moving and shaking its body and limbs. The heartbeat was at 170 which is really good. I have the belief that the baby was moving so much because it knew how happy its Mommy and Daddy were to see it...Daddy is hoping that baby has more rhythm than him :)

Stuffed

This week has had many ups and downs. First, my hubby celebrated his 28th birthday. One year older to 30 ;) However, due to a horrible cough and cold, his birthday with kinda a bust. I made up for it the next day by cooking his favorite dinner...Chicken Parmesan...but the actual day was eating out and a movie at home.

Luckily for me and Anthony, I now have some antibiotics and I hope to be on the way to recovery. Or at least being able to sleep. On that note, how do I feel? Well the best way to describe it is that I feel like I just ate Thanksgiving and am stuffed. I have pressure from my stomach pushing down on my bladder and up on my stomach. This means that I can not eat much at any meal but whenever I drink I have to pee. What a fun combination. Sometimes I think it is a race if I will need to eat again before I pee.

Right now I am just looking forward to Monday when we have our first official ultrasound. I am hoping and praying that we have a healthy baby with a good heart beat. I also need the shock again that I am actually pregnant and not bloated. It does not matter how long you plan...it is scary and surreal.

New form of sleep depravation

Well I have discovered yet another plot of nature to make the husband uncomfortable during the pregnancy process. First it is talking about the thing growing within their partner's body, way too much resembling of the Alien line of movies, next it is how your partner has 9 months of discomfort and generally not feeling normal, my new discovery is the fact that increased levels of estrogen cause increased levels of mucus and phlegm production. You may say "How does that make the husband uncomfortable?", well I will tell you. It prematurely starts the sleep depravation process for both partners. Every time she lays down to sleep she will start coughing and hacking to the point I think something is about to burst from her chest and go running and screeching across the dinner table on the Nostromo.  Oops, sorry there I go again having flash backs to the first time I watched Alien from around the couch while I should have been in bed. 

So anyways I guess my topic should have been that nature has found yet another way to make both partner's uncomfortable. I n reality though the partner being uncomfortable is purely collateral damage because it is their job to run out into the night to get the Burger King Hamburger, the Wendy's Frostie, and McDonald's fries. So guess the phlegm and coughing is to ensure that the partner is fully awake when the pregnant spouse has those 2:45 A.M. cravings. Well it looks like I have solved yet another mystery, it is all part of the plan to ensure complete attention of the spouse or partner for those late night cravings.

Hoopla of announcements

It's amazing the variety of advice you get from everybody and occasionally their dog if he has a mind to chime in. Most of it good to at least take on board and adapt to your on style of parenting, which of course I have no idea what that may be. There are also some off the wall ones where you just wonder if maybe you should be calling CPS. I mean hanging them by their feet to let the dog clean them up after dinner, where the hell did that idea come from? In reality though I appreciate all of the advice that I get from parents and non parents alike. Granted I am not yet sure what would qualify the non parental types in giving this advice, but oh well. 

On top of the advice is also all of the well wishers and plague spouters, I mean who in their right mind wishes triplets on someone? I have trouble just getting my mind around the thought of one rugrat running around, can you imagine three of the same age? You might as well, burn down your house yourself, collect the insurance and move into a bouncy house outside a truck super stop with shower facilities. After you get past all of the pats on the back, the congratulations and the occasional "good shooting" comment things calm down for awhile. But overall telling everyone is a great thing to let everyone know that yes on top of all the other stresses they have placed on you there is one more that will last 18-42 years so they should back off. I say 42 because if the kids try to live with us past 42 we are selling the house and leaving no forwarding address. With that being said thank you to all who have wished us well, given advice, and those who told us they hope we have triplets (may you have sextuplets in the future).

Tortilla Chips and Nausea

I just want to start off by saying that I wish I was as good of a writer has my hubby. I feel like when I write it sounds more like a technical paper or a late night sleeping pill. However, as a promise to him (and P) I am writing in the blog.

So the main question I am getting at the moment is “Aren’t you excited?”. Hmm….yes….hmm….maybe…..hmm…..I think I am going throw up. This is about my answer. I want to be excited, and I am sure hidden underneath the exhaustion and the nausea I am, but for the moment I just want to not move and stay in a bubble with no smells or food. About food, I see nothing in the baby books where you should be living your 1st trimester eating Ramon and Tortilla Chips (with sour cream). However, this is all that sounds good…mmm salt. What doesn’t sound good: chicken, sweets, vegetables, anything that does not include Tortilla Chips. Luckily though, I have a wonderful husband who is cooking for me and when on my plate I do eat a well balanced meal. I just wish that the green beans last night had a coating of Tortilla Chips.

Diapers

What is a new father to do? Especially if he has never changed a diaper before. You see I come from a family where I am in fact the middle grandchild, but they are all so close that I never changed a diaper. Will I know which end to put it on? I think so, the end that makes the noise is the one that gets the diaper right? Wait that does not seem right. Of course I am making light of one of the basic tasks of parenthood. However, I woke up this morning with a fear that I would put the diaper on the wrong end the first time. My lovely wife assured me that that would not happen and if the first attempt was not successful I would have plenty of opportunities to get it right. 

While many of you may think I am exaggerating, and I am, the point is that these babies don't come with instruction manuals, and how many of us truly know what we are doing when the hospital gives you that first baby and says congratulations and good luck? We spend our time wondering if we should do this or do that, it is a trial and error process that we gladly accept. I personally look forward to the challenges and changes that await me. So I guess my rambling point is that while many unknown things await me, it is my job to accept them with open arms and everything will be alright.

Fatherhood

Well here we are, three weeks ago we found out we were going to be parents. Granted it was from one of those drugstore tests. I mean who can really trust one of those? You have to deal with deciphering all the different symbols, hell you need to be a doctor just to do that most of the time, but we managed to find one that spoke plain old english and it said clear as the day PREGNANT, like it thought that if it wasn't in capital letter we wouldn't understand. But I am rambling now. Anyway, she headed of to Brazil the next morning and we sat a world apart wondering if everything would be ok. The next week she had three appointments with blood draws and classes. Half way through she lost her symptoms and we feared the worst. When we took her back in, the doctor did an ultrasound and pronounced that at this time we are the proud parents of a ball of cells with a heart beat.

I know that doesn't sound like much, but I am proud. I just hope that that ball of cells will grow up to be a successful ball of cells as far as balls of cells go. Now what I came here to say could have been summed up much quick but tangents are so much more enjoyable. So here it is. Over the last three weeks I have had a lot of time to think without outside interference since we just told our families and friends over the last couple of days. I am so excited that I am going to be a father. We have been looking forward to parenthood for a long time, but the time was just not right. I am also terrified, I don't know that I will be a good father, there is so much to know, but I guess nobody knows it all when they start, or when they end for that matter. So in the mean time I guess I will just be nervous and do what I can to help out.